McCain's Argument Clarified and Simplified

My friends, I'm not saying that you should do anything...rash...about Senator Obama. All I'm saying is that he is a terrorist who consorts with terrorists, and that he and his friends will surely destroy the country if he is elected and allowed to serve. Governor Palin and I just want you to know that Saddam Hussein Obama...I mean Osama...excuse me...Barack Hussein Obama is likely to be a Muslim who will turn our country into a Caliphate and, along with Obama bin Laden...I mean Osama bin Laden...conduct a Jihad against the American population. We just want you to know the truth--that he is a hideous monster and probable child molester who is constitutionally incapable of telling the truth, and who is runninig the dirtiest and most un-American and un-Christian campaign in American history, with the help of hordes of flithy poor people who brought down the American economy and plan to replace the, er, Constitution or something with Communism. We do not condone the use of violence to save our beloved country, the United States of American, God bless it, nor the free market, nor the family nor Western Civilization itself, of course, though others more patriotic than ourselves may not be able to show such restraint. True patriots, of course, might believe that it is reasonable to take...let us say extraordinary measures...to save the world from the man who is probably the Antichrist, though we would never condone such a thing. We just want you to know that facts, and to judge for yourselves what is to be done.

God bless America.