Postpostmodern Bullshit, Pop Culture, And You're Sexist For Not Watching The WNBA

facepalm

   You're reason--you're "real" reason--for not watching the WNBA has nothing to do with the reason you think you don't watch it...which--the one you think is your reason, that is--happens to be a very obvious and perfectly sound reason that just happens to be everybody else's reason, too... Except, of course, it doesn't just happen to be, any more than people just happen to watch MLB, the NBA, the NFL, and so on. Anyway, as it turns out, your "real" reason has nothing to do with the skill and talent of the players. It's all about...uh...well...you're gonna have to read the thing for yourself to figure that out...because I couldn't quite do it in the five minutes I could stand to spend skimming this piece of utter shit... But it has something to do with "narrative"...an all-purpose bullshit vague gesture of an explanation inflicted on us by trickle-down postmodernism a quarter-century ago.

   This embarrassingly ridiculous article put me in mind of the embarrassingly ridiculous dust-up consequent on John McEnero inadvertently speaking the truth about women's tennis a coupla years back. The pop-culture left was livid that he said that Serena Williams was "the greatest female tennis-player of all time." WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT SHE'S THE GREATEST TENNIS PLAYER OF ALL TIME FULL STOP YOU SEXIST SNOT-PIG????? they REEEEEEed.

   Of course the answer is: because she isn't. Great talent though she may be, she apparently can't reliably beat any of the top-100 men in the world. And it might be worse than that--I can't remember where the cut-off is, actually.

   Look, man. I got nothing against the WNBA, nor against female athletes in general. I used to sometimes find myself in pick-up games in Chapel Hill with players from the women's hoops team. I liked 'em, and they were better than me--as so many people were. It was just people out there playin' hoops and havin' fun. I tried to watch some WNBA games back when it was new-ish. I don't watch it basically for the same reason people don't watch me play hoops--it's just not that interesting basically because the players aren't that good. Basically because they aren't that athletic. 

  And that's my real reason. And it's yours, too. The shit about story lines does play a role. I watch Carolina hoops even when they aren't that good. But if nobody in the whole league can dunk, there's just not the baseline athleticism there that's going to make me interested in the storylines. The less athletic and talented players are, the harder it's going to be to get people interested in storylines. Basketball isn't pro wrestling. Hell...actually those guys are pretty great athletes. I guess a sufficiently interesting storyline could make even games between mediocre teams interesting. But the more mediocre the athletes, the more interesting the storylines would have to be. You'd have to find something on the order of Lord of the Rings to make games interesting if they feature athletes of my skill and ability level. So, like, if I'm taking a last-second shot against the Nazgul to decide the fate of Middle Earth...well...people'd watch that. But, realistically, no storyline is interesting enough to make people interested in watching me, with my now-pathetic vertical leap, missing layups, sucking wind and clanking shit off the back iron.