Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Joe Arpaio is a Buffoon: Steven Segal Edition


Sheriff Joe Arpaio is a buffoon (and, probably, a criminal...but that's not the point of this particular story).

What is it this time?

Well, apparently he tapped Steven Seagal--the actor--to train a band of volunteers--which apparently turned out to include a bunch of psychos and criminals--to respond to school shootings.

I am not making this up.

On the posse:
[an] investigation "uncovered a number of posse members with arrests for assault, drug possession, domestic violence, sex crimes against children, disorderly conduct, impersonating an officer - and the list goes on."
Getting an actor to do the "training" is...well...what exactly does one say? Mr. Seagal, who is known largely for intentionally kicking his co-stars in the 'nads--asserts that he is qualified:
"I've put hundreds of thousands if not millions of hours into my weapons training," the actor told reporters on Saturday.
Jeez, that is a lot of training. If we go with the low end of "millions" and say that's two million, that would put Seagal's weapons training alone at over 200 years. No wonder his chop socky is so weak...

I'm more worried about this band of freaks and losers being armed than I am about the average private citizen. You should be too.

This is the country we live in, oh fellow citizens. It is many things, some sublime, and some ridiculous. It is many, many strange and wondrous things. And this...this is one of them...


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