Satanic Panic In The UK: The "Hampstead Satanic Cult"
IMO it's the cannibalism that's the sign of a first-rate satanic cultist pedophilia conspiracy story. Without cannibalism...I mean...ho-hum amirite?
Also: dildos figure prominently in this story. That's a twist.
Don't forget to glance at the comments! The first comment predicts that it won't be long before the poster himself is accused of being a pedophile...and, indeed, it only takes about ten before he himself is, in fact, accused of being a cannibalistic blood-drinking pedophiliac satanic cultist...because...who but a cannibalistic, blood-drinking, pedophiliac Satanic cultist would question the veracity of a story about cannibalistic blood-drinking pedophiliac Satanic cultists?
Oh, and: the original fantasists have already admitted that they made it up. But that doesn't count because listen and believe! Unless...the "victims" admit they made it up. Then neither listen nor believe! Also, their admission that their patently impossible, zero-probability-of-being-true story is false does not count because one Dr. Deborah Hodes can tell whether or not they are telling the truth by probing their butts. And butts don't lie, people. Butts do not lie.
Stupidity sometimes seems lie a palpable force in human affairs. We don't need no Satan. What we need is a demonic personification of human god damned stupidity. That would be a useful heuristic for some religion to come up with.