Saturday, October 05, 2013

I'm An Outlaw/First-World Anarcy: Gubmint Shutdown Edition: Hiking SNP

I am bad to the bone...

I went running up the Madison Run fire road in the Shenandoah National Park yesterday. Oh yes I did.

Did I see the small laminated sign nailed to a tree saying that the park was closed? I did. But your "rules" have no authority over me, man. I make my own rules, see?

I did run into a cute, off-duty rangergirl in her SUV, and she tried to convince me to give up my life of crime.

Cute Off-Duty Ranger Girl: Park's closed, buddy.
Me: [Thinking: 'buddy'? That's the most confrontational thing a ranger in the SNP has ever said to me...]
Me: [Saying]: Yeah, I know, but I figured it wasn't a big deal.
CODRG: [pause] They're giving out tickets.
Me: Yeah...but is it a hassle for the rangers? I mean, I'm willing to pay the fine, but I don't want to seem disrespectful or anything.
CODRG: Well... [obviously not wanting to say "I know this is all bullshit"] There's one guy being a real hard-ass about all this. He's, like, giving tickets for rolling stops on Skyline Drive...
Me: I'll be careful...
CODRG: Don't go up past the chain at the gap...just stay on the fire road.
Me: Will do. Thanks for the warning.
CODRG: [Drives off]

Obviously she was drunk on authority.

But seriously, I love the rangers.

Anyway, despite the great beauty of the day, I wasn't having a great run, and ended up turning back sooner than normal. I ran into another scofflaw who was hiking up.

Me: Greetings, fellow outlaw.
Him: Hey, this off-duty ranger just told me that they were giving out tickets up to "several hundred dollars"...
Me: Dang, she left out that detail when I talked to her.
Him: Yeah, I'm just going to hide in the woods if I hear another vehicle.
Me: [Looking down at my florescent orange shorts] Damn. Incorrect fashion choice.

Hundreds of dollars seems excessive to me... But I realize they've got to do their jobs.

Ran into a group of Germans who were hiking up. They didn't realize the park was closed.

Me: Hey, you guys realize the park is closed?
Them: Gott im Himmel!
Me: Seriously.
Them: But...zey tell us in der Harrisonburg dat zis is hokay?
Me: Well, word on the fire road is that they might be giving out tickets of several hundred dollars. That's like...at least five Euros...
Them: [disappointed, indecisively wondering what to do]
Me: If I were you I'd probably just hike and then pretend I didn't speak English. I'd be pretty surprised if they'd ticket you.

Also ran into some folks getting their horses ready to ride up, and told them what the what was.

"Call your Congressman" seemed to be the consensus...

Too bad my Representative is this fellow...

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