The President's Speech to School Kids
The Republican Rebuttal
By
Sarah Palin

Okay, good.

Good afternoon, boys and girls there.

As one of the leading intellectual "lights" in the Republican party's constellation, they have asked me to to talk about Mr. Obama's speech to you, and the rebuttal of it. And so I am here today to talk about school to you, and possibly even the lack thereof.

Websters defines "education" as the state--or condition--of being educated. And that is so true. So, so true.

Mr. Obama has said today to you: "stay in school," and others have said that, with a good education, you can do anything, even be president. But seeing and hearing all this go on, I am here now to say to you: you can do anything even without a "formal" education or "education." Book smarts are not everything, and, some would say--or might--that they are not actually that important, the books. Imagine if civilization falls or you were lost in the woods, and you had some fancy degree in mathematical or historical science from say Harvard University or perhaps even were yourself the principal of Harvard, but you could not know how to kill and skin, say, a moose or a muskrat with your own hands and teeth? What then? Who's the stupid one then? And who the hungry one?

No, book smarts and book learning is not everything, despite Mr. Obama's saying so, and his contempt for the real knowledge of real Americans in real America, in the real Northern Hemisphere, on real Earth, especially if you are for an example home schooled, or something else. For instance you might just read magazines too, by which I mean all of 'em, any of 'em you could get your hands on, be they People or that Weekly World News there or even The National Review. Then without any fancy degrees you could know what people are up to, or where Bat Boy is--only approximately, of course--or how the invisible hand will solve the problem of recession or all other problems of the world, and also how to lose weight fast and whether this or that president might be the Antichrist. And that is just by reading!

Of course the elites want you to believe that you can learn best by learning from other people who already know called "teachers," but I say that is elitism. With their condescending to, and also no knowledge of, ordinary Americans and American ways of knowing and learning things, they do not know. But if ordinary Americans roll up their ordinary sleeves, they do not need schools, nor to stay in them, but only self-reliance, learning-wise. And these are just examples.

And the presupposed thing here is that you have to learn at all, which is not a good presupposition even. God and the baby Jesus created us ignorant, and if it is good enough those two, then it is good enough for me and all of us also.

So, in summarizing, whether you want to be a lawyer, perhaps working for the department of law, or a doctor, perhaps working for the department of medicine, or, well, anything, you can do it, with or without a formal, or any, education.

"But Sarah," you may ask, "can I really do anything I want even without learning?" To which I would say: well, if you mean such as: can you slack your way through college by taking a joke major and then bop around from school to school until some university somewhere finally gives up and gives you a degree, and yet still, though entirely unqualified by any even vaguely plausible criteria, be in a position to possibly be president and wreak your terrible, terrible vengeance upon all who oppose you?

To this I say: you betcha.