Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Operation Brainless Frontman
or
Andrew Breibart: Stupidest Man On The Intertubes

Here. Read it if you dare.

You probably thought I was just bloviating yet again in that "brainless frontman" post...

But Andrew Breibart seems to be coming pretty close to endorsing the strategy. Behold:
The future of the Grand Old Party needs to be dangerously youthful, devastatingly attractive and outrageously fun.
...
With the economy in the pits, the young, the restless and unapologetically handsome should use their looks, vigor and Internet knowledge to wrest away elective office from joyless bureaucrats who gallingly repackaged the soiled utopian promises of their overly replayed Woodstock days as "hope" and "change."
Well, if you can't be smart, I guess you might as well be pretty. No ideas? Wrong about everything for the past fifty years? Hey, just be "outrageously fun"! And use that "Internet [sic] knowledge" for which conservatives are so famous to win the day!

I mean, it's not like this stuff is serious, right? It's not like anything actually hangs on how the country is run.

As Dubya has demonstrated, it's not like it takes actual, ya' know, knowledge to run the U.S. gubmint....


Those frumpy libruls! They'll never be able to stand up against a marketing campaign full of "unapologetically handsome" conservatives! (I mean, I know how America hates good looks...but by gum we're tired of apologizing for our beauty!)

As with the Iraq war, it's all about the selling. It's not about right or wrong, it's not about true or false, it's not about rational or irrational. It's about selling.

This has to be one of the saddest, most pathetic pieces of sh!t I've ever read anywhere in my entire life. I've writting some crappy stuff in my life, as readers of this blog can no doubt attest to. But if I ever write anything half this idiotic, I will hang up my keyboard and move to a unabomber shack.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This has to be one of the saddest, most pathetic pieces of sh!t I've ever read anywhere in my entire life. I've writting some crappy stuff in my life, as readers of this blog can no doubt attest to. But if I ever write anything half this idiotic, I will hang up my keyboard and move to a unabomber shack. Ok you're on. You just did.

1:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I do miss Tom Van Dyke sometimes, at least he could insult with panache and gusto, our anonymous friend has nothing but snark going for him/her.

Ok you're on. You just did.

Specify, or are you up to the challenge of writing above a 4th grade level?

2:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've writting some crappy stuff in my life, as readers of this blog can no doubt attest to. The end.

4:01 AM  
Blogger Winston Smith said...

Oh, hai Anonymouse, u r dumb ha ha! I don't like what u rite because I dont like it. u r 2 smart 4 me the end!

8:15 AM  
Blogger Winston Smith said...

Oh, and, DA?

Allow me to quote the Mystic:

Silence, you fool!

That's like saying "Hastur Hastur Hastur!"

8:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Outrageously fun"?

Name me one fun or funny conservative. How about Ben Stein? Malkin? Limbaugh?

The only way this works is if you confuse "bitter resentment" or "mean spirited" with "fun".

I think Nietzsche is pretty useful here in terms of who really is a "free spirit."

If the "1/2 Hour News Hour" or Dennis Miller's new schtick is any indication, it won't be anytime soon that conservatives will find any semblence of a funny-bone anywhere on anyone.

8:33 PM  

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