Shieldpods! THEY'RE SCIENCE!

PANIC-BUY THEM BEFORE THE RUSH TO PANIC-BUY THEM!!!

Everybody panic-buy shieldpods right now! And toilet paper!

Everybody stop buying shield pods, ok?
Just stop! sheildpods don't work against viruses!!! LISTEN TO US IT'S SCIENCE
Why won't you people listen to the experts?
Stop buying shieldpods! Doctors need them and they don't even work.
Ok, fine. But everybody knew we were lying. So it barely even counts.
Draping some plastic wrap over your head is just as good. Better, maybe.
BAD ORANGE MAN REFUSES TO MAKE MORE SHIELD PODS SO BRING US YOUR STASH.
Draping plastic wrap over your head won't work. Obvs. JUST FORGET ABOUT IT OK?
You'd better be draping plastic on your head if you ever hope to leave your house again.
Draping plastic wrap over your head might protect you...how do you know it doesn't? Or maybe it could protect you against something else.
Ok. We don't know whether it works or not.
Why do men and conservatives refuse to put plastic wrap on their head. IT'S SCIENCE! WHY ARE MEN AND CONSERVATIVES HATE DE SCIENZE?
Do not EVER leave your home without plastic wrap draped over your head! It's the LAW!
The most dangerous thing of all is if you say 'Kung Flu' because it is RACIST and RACISM is a literal virus that's worse than real viruses THIS IS SCIENCE.
SCIENCEtm shows that plastic wrap on your head will NOT protect you during pro-firearm or anti-lockdown protests! However it WILL protect you during anti-firearm and pro-lockdown protests.
Burning down buildings and destroying historical monuments are good sutstitutes for plastic wrap on your head so long as you are protesting because BLACK LIVES MATTER and ORANGE MAN BAD.
The very best measure against all viruses is reading The Communist Manifesto and prostrating yourself to pray for forgiveness for your filthy, filthy whiteness.
Just forget the fucking plastic wrap NOTHING WILL EVER BE NORMAL AGAIN SO JUST QUIT ASKING ITS SCIENCE BIGOT AND SHUT UP ABOUT SHIELDPODS.