Shorter "Sarah Palin"

So here's a piece from the Post by "Sarah Palin"--who, weirdly, writes like 7,000 times more coherently than she speaks! (Though, to tell the truth, still not that coherently...) And who also weirdly seems to have suddenly taken an interest in and learned something about energy policy! What could possibly account for these facts about this editorial with her name on it???

Anyway, shorter "Sarah Palin":

Because they all hate the baby Jesus, those Washington bureaucrats don't want us to use the energy sources that He put right under our feet, and which he explicitly intended for us to burn in order to warm the atmosphere! Obama's atheist, anti-Jesistical "cap-and-tax" policy is intended to send your hard-earned money straight to the commies so they can clobber or bushwack or do other folksily violent things to us.