What Does "G.O.P." Stand For?
or:
Two Can Play At That Game...

Embarrassing but true: that nonsense where Republicans call the Democratic party "the Democrat Party" really pisses me off.

It irritates me because:

(a) It's astonishingly stupid
(b) It's astoundingly juvenile
(c) It's nauseatingly pusillanimous (because it's so lame that they can slip it in with some kind of plausible deniability...as if it weren't intended as an insult)

and

(d) because we have no analogous response. ("Republic" party just won't do it, obviously).

(a)-(d)--perhaps especially (d)--tell you much of what you need to know about my psychology...

So what's a poor quasi-Democrat to do?

Take the high road, perhaps.

Not on your f*cking life, homes.

Here's my suggestion: we start using "G.O.P." to stand for some standardized insulting phrase (or possibly a small set thereof).

Of course many people already sometimes say that "G.O.P." stands for Grand Oil Party...but--accurate thought that may be--it's not quite insulting enough, I'd say...

We need to think up something rather more...evocative. Something more like:

Geriatric, Oligarchical Penises
or
Grand Old Plutocrats
or
Ginormous Onanistic Pig-Fornicators

I dunno. Nothing good's coming to me. But I had the big idea. Now somebody else has to fill in the details.

The point is that when Joe Republican says blah blah blah the Democrat party, Joe Democrat can say, well, blah blah blah the G.O.P. They get in their just-barely-sub-rosa digs, we get in ours. Even steven.

And, in fact, we can still call them on it, pointing out that 'Democrat Party' is incorrect. But 'G.O.P.' is perfectly fine, whatever we semi-covertly decide to make it really stand for...