Bush on FISA:
The Terrorists Have Already Won: We Are Already Dead

Today, (")President(") Bush issued the following statement on the House's failure to immediately pass the FISA bill:

"My subject...er, fellow Americans. The Terrorists have already won.We are already dead. The Democrats' terror-loving actions--specifically, failing to pass the FISA bill in exactly the form I demanded--has killed us all. The all-powerful terrorists--the most powerful force ever known on the face of the Earth--killed us yesterday immediately after the Democrats' heinous, suicidal, Americidal, freedom-cidal actions. Unless we immediately authorize corporate America to work with the all-powerful executive branch--to which both other branches of government are, of course, subordinate--to immediately and permanently suspend all civil rights, life as we know it will be destroyed across the entire universe. It is already too late for us. But, in order to prevent the terrorists from using Iraqi WMDs to destroy all life everywhere--and, in fact, to reach beyond space and time to kill the baby Jesus--I command...er, urge...the House to pass the FISA bill immediately. Some have pointed out that the bill could be passed if telecom immunity were removed from it. Those people obviously love terrorists and want to have ten thousand of their terrorist babies.

Goodbye, and rest in peace."