Monday, August 20, 2007

People Who Deserve To Be Eaten By Bears

"Glamping" = "glamorous camping" = you are a waste of carbon-ing = die yuppie scum-ing.

Butlers to build your fires, maids to turn on your heated comforters, and chefs in this sick, sad parody of camping.

All for only $600/night + $110/day/person for food.

Just incidentally, that nightly cost is not terribly far below what we pay for a nice place in Chapel Hill (note: not a notably inexpensive place to live) per month...a place so nice that I often look around at it and think how preposterously rich we are by the standards of the world.

This story just made me want to retch.

Quoth one "Gigi Bondick" (a real name? Seems improbable...), speaking of her son's request to camp:

"We're just not the camping kind of people. We don't pitch tents. We don't cook outdoors. We don't share a bathroom. It's just not going to happen. This is a kid who has never flown anything but first class or stayed anywhere other than a Four Seasons."

What comes after 'nauseating', 'odious' and 'execrable'?

Words fail me.

[ just strikes me that this may very well be some kind of joke... I usually don't get taken in by that sort of thing... Dunno. I'm suspending judgment.]


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does this gentleman also qualify for the "people who deserve to be eaten by bears" category?

1:12 PM  
Blogger Random Michelle K said...

$600 a NIGHT? That's more than my mortgage!

I mean, the whole POINT of camping is to get dirty, pee in the woods, and eat various substances that were burned over a fire!

Why not just go to a hotel?

1:20 PM  
Blogger tehr0x0r said...

These sort of people make me sick. If you lead a rich and pointlessly expensive lifestyle thats fine but to think that it would be unheard of to suspend that for even one weekend and to act shocked that your kid might want to do that...

I come on now.

3:02 PM  
Blogger Winston Smith said...

Yeah, I think that's exactly right, t-r0x...

It's one thing to be an effete, ultra-rich numbnut...but to say that you can't even sleep out in a tent on occasion...that's either a morally reprehensible degree of fastidiousness or a put-on. And anybody who would actually *want* people to think they're like that...well, again, words fail me...

4:22 PM  
Blogger Joe the Blogger said...

And then: "those who can't hack the tent can upgrade to luxury mountain homes with hot tubs for up to $3,460 a night."

Ok, I get it now....these are the incentives that rich people need in order to work harder. If private equity bankers had to settle for CAMPING in order to appreciate nature, they clearly wouldn't keep innovating and we'd end up like France or Denmark. I finally see the light.

9:20 PM  
Blogger lovable liberal said...

Rich people are different from you and me.

10:19 PM  
Blogger Winston Smith said...

In that they deserve to be eaten.

1:58 PM  
Blogger The Mystic said...

By bears.

9:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Damn. And here I've always thought that I was cheating when I used an air mattress and/or had access to toilets.

It's not just the super-rich, though. Whenever I go out to a campground, I always see several motorhomes or RVs equipped with satellite dishes, electric lights, and air conditioning. As far as I'm concerned, that's not camping.

I'm with Michelle K. on this one. If you don't come back filthy and smelling like campfire smoke, it's just not worth it.

1:39 AM  
Blogger Winston Smith said...

Yeah, I think that being in a campground is a borderline case of camping anyway. And sleeping in a vehicle...not camping at all.

1:54 PM  
Blogger Winston Smith said...

This strikes me as a particularly amusing thread.

1:55 PM  
Blogger The Mystic said...

If you don't go into the woods naked and tool-less, and emerge with the skins of the animals you killed to survive wrapped around your now immensely muscular frame, wearing jewelry comprised of claws and teeth..

I consider it "glamping".

2:10 PM  
Blogger Random Michelle K said...

You can't camp nekkid!

You have to a bag to carry the beer and whiskey!

3:15 PM  
Blogger The Mystic said...

*sigh* Glampers...


10:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ha ha ha, we are better than those dumb rich people.

Seriously, I'd rather they spend their money on a fancy butler to build them campfires than on campaign contributions to You Know Who.

The more random stupid places these people spend their money the more diffuse the wealth gets.

12:25 AM  

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