There Is No Such Thing As Obamagate; Or: Move Along Citizens--Nothing To See Here

Ha ha! It's totally a joke, that thing about railroading a former National Security Advisor and promoting a hoax to discredit and torpedo a duly-elected American president! Funny, right? 

No wait, I mean: it's not even a joke! It's not a thing at all! It never happened and you never heard anything, so just go back to cowering in your house.

Seriously, just forget you ever heard about it, ok?